Tuesday, April 08, 2003

It appears that Richard does not know about my attempts to smooth Bloggo-Richardic relations. If someone sees him, could they please alert him to these developments?

Anecdote of the day

Peglar: ...And I want all your essays justified, justified left. I don't want any of that fancy stuff, because when you justify it left, everything you write is spaced equally, and it looks just wonderful.
Mediocre brown girl: Oh, so we write our arguments and then we, like, put, like, our reasons for it to the left?
Peglar: Oh, no, when I say justification I don't mean philosophical justification, I just mean the way your essay is formatted.

True story.

I skipped history again (12) and sat in on a mixed-math class. Oh God, it was like that urban legend about Alabama; pi had been approximated to three. I was just scared they would ban multiplication and all other forms of ungodly 'number manipulation'.

Nick Moreau is so cool. Honestly, I think he has Andro-Adeelic potential. With the right coaching, he could give us an axis.

I won fantasy hockey. I pwn you all, and you are all my bitches.

Oh, I would just like to clarify to those two brown airheads cheating off of the guy milking Gabe and I for all his marks, that they will still fail. However, I have realized that you are quite possibly the two stupidest, most fugliest people I have ever meet. You took approximately 55 minutes on a 20-mark quiz that was comprised of about six questions. Sadly, when pooling your mental resources, you failed to realize that 0 + 0 = 0, for all quantities of 0, no matter how large they may be.

Emos should be shot.

That is all.

Monday, April 07, 2003

AWYHIGTC is on hiatus pending new revenue streams, er, irony streams.

No, I think that's pretty ironic.

The height of pseudo-intellect is repeatedly using vague literary concepts to convey a sense of jadedness and/or sophistication. Vanity Fair has repeatedly turned down my articles though. Maybe I can write one of those reviews in art sections of newspapers like the Globe that say nothing and everything at the same time.

I think Bloggo-Richardic relations are frigid at best, so it's my new goal to win him over.

Oh, the cedar tree!
If mankind in his infancy
had prayed for the perfect substance
for all material and aesthetic needs,
an indulgent god could have provided
nothing better.

- Bill Reid

There. Moving on....

One thing I've picked up in my extensive readings is that the Western media is explicitly lying to me, unless it's showing pictures of mutilated Iraqi children, in which case it is somehow telling the truth. Another thing I've picked up is that a British accent somehow makes you superior, unless you're in Britain, where you obviously don't speak with an accent.

Adeel v. Hatherly et al enters Week 10 with no signs of dissipation.

Adeel v. Tolstoy enters page 80 with no signs of dissipation.


Wednesday, April 02, 2003

I have nothing to tell you or sell you for the moment.

Sunday, March 30, 2003

Oh dear God, this is so chumpy. I haven't used one of these text editors since the late 90s. Oh well, the point being that I don't have FTP access. Well, I do, but I don't want to sort out Sympatico.

WTF? I have a blog? What am I a yuppie? Or an emo? To the contrary, I think this will be very entertaining. Why?

Well, I suppose I write about what happened in the past few days.

Oh, damn.

I'm not nearly narcisstic enough to expound on every single detail of my life, or even any. Besides, there would be no irony in that, and we all know how I feel about irony.

Nevertheless, I think it would be fair to start by taking a shot at history. I have now skipped, by my count, ten American History classes out of 36. I feel confident that I have the highest mark. I haven't been in the last three days, having been at school for the latter two and having seen Hatherly on both those days. That's right, I don't care.

If I can get an 80 or higher in that class, it will be the single most significant accomplishment of my checkered and tumultous academic career.

We have a SmartAsk team in the making. QV Hindenburg, you people are the Black Shirts (out of context), you know who you are.

Actually, to preserve irony and the "pathetic old single men, no chit-chat" image, I should provide an itemized account of my day.

  • Waking up at 11:30
  • Checking the board and fantasy leagues
  • Breakfast
  • Sitting at the computer
  • Reading the paper at 3
  • Taking a nap at 4
  • Eating at 5:30
  • Simultaneously catching the end of Len Barker's perfect game
  • More TV
  • Computer again

    I think someone somewhere will make a post on their message board about how pathetic I am, but as long as we all realize it's with tongue firmly planted in cheek, it's okay. Maddoxian types are fine this way, and the only other kind are the BDG types, who wouldn't count anyways. Wow, if this could become as religiously followed as certain sites....