Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I don't know what everyone's doing this Thursday, but I was wondering if any of you had a couple of hours to spare. I want to go down to High Park, Fort York, or any public area for that matter with a friend or two. I think I'll start by groping women, quite vigourously at that, maybe even running knives against their necks. I might also kick a few in the back of the knee and slap around a few kids and old people.

What I need from you is to disinterestedly reassure these people that I'm only being friendly and won't hurt them. Maybe if I get overly friendly with a primly dressed socialite from the lakefront condos while she's cornered against a fence, you can dully call my name and ask me to stop. After a couple of minutes of fearing for her safety, I might let her go or I might cut her. Does it really matter? I'm just being friendly and I have a right to use that public space. Whatever happens, don't actually rush into the fracas and grab me, even if I start to fly out of control.

Later on, we'll cloak ourselves in black walk through Rosedale armed with automatic weapons and threats of a bomb. We'll harass, intimidate, and humiliate the people we see, but promise that we're just being ourselves. Sorry if we scared you.

No comments: