Friday, September 07, 2007

Gatorade Pledges $240 Million In Thirst Aid To Underquenched Nations

"Subsistence-level peasant populations need to drink at least 16 ounces of fluid prior to, 8 ounces during, and 24 ounces immediately after engaging in heavy menial labor," a multilingual wall chart included in the thirst-aid package read in part. "Why? Because the more you slave away for your cruel overlords, the more vital minerals and fluids your body loses. These have to be replaced quickly, with a rehydrating agent that contains glucose and sodium, so you can keep your edge–and keep from being beaten."

Of course, here we are seven years later and chronic glycogen depletion still plagues much of the Third World. In fact, 25,000 people die each and every day from having absolutely nothing to eat. Unfortunately, this isn't the sort of danger that governments like to deal with.

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