Thursday, November 06, 2008

The reaction to Barack Obama becoming president of the United States is everywhere. Roughly 60-70 of my Facebook friends updated their status to reflect this historic moment. All but one, a Republican-leaning co-worker, expressed the utmost joy, in a way that is mystifying. You see, most of them are Canadians, and this event really has the most peripheral of outcomes on their lives. Of course, this has the effect of making America a more attractive and appealing country than it has been for the last 8 years, but it really didn't mean as much to me as it did to Americans.


  • My Republican co-worker and his wife have determined that everything in America will henceforth be free. Obama will raise taxes and ruin the economy and give money to poor people. Or something like that. Never before have I so deeply enjoyed someone's misery. Never before and, likely, never again. Never again.

  • Free Republic reports that the price of gun ammunition is going up because the Democrats are planning a 500% excise tax (sic) on all ammo (sic). The ammunition market, as sensitive to political developments as the other major commodity markets, is, of course, far more complicated than Freepers would have you believe. The cost of extracting, refining and pumping bullets is determined by myriad factors, the exposition of which is surely a topic for another post. In a nod to the genius of the sort of person who sells ammunition in the first place, the seller of ammunition will not be restocking this newly expensive product.

  • Vanguard News Network, the trashier of the many white supremacist websites I read, reports that "this is a very low point in Western history."

  • Stormfront, my white trash website of choice, has crashed from people simultaneously rejoicing that Obama's election will bring a racial war at hand and others, screaming at the terror of being under the yoke of the black man for a change.

  • FOX News, which I've lately determined to have an astonishingly sparse website, has responded with a turgid op-ed piece that tries to focus on all the obscure events of the last 15 years. It's a narrative constructed in a tortured connect-the-oblong-trapezoid fashion.

  • If you're reading this and you voted Republican, you're a moron. There's sadly no way around it. If you are in a wild panic about the state of your country, know that I take the greatest of pleasures in your wild panic, and that I hope your taxes get raised and Obamamaniacs come and take your PSP and plasma TV. I do share your regret that Sarah Palin will not enjoy more publicity. I enjoyed her interviews and public appearances greatly.

    Lastly, Chicago's Grant Park, one of the most architecturally spectacular places in the world, was an excellent choice for Obama's acceptance speech. Both Obama and Chicago's waterfront are constructed, however ostentatiously, to project the very best of America.
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