Friday, May 15, 2009

Here are some of my favourite Kimisms over the months:

"When I was a tour guide at the infiltration tunnel, I saw many foreigners and, you know, some of them were as big as a door."

On seeing my friend's passport picture, the first time he met her: "You look like Britney Spears when she did not manage her body well."

On squat toilets: "Have you ever shit in that kind of place?"

On meeting a new coworker: "I thought she would be taller, like Lisa (6 feet) or Kerri (not much shorter)". Apparently all Western women are supposed to be around 6 feet.

"It is a kind of _____________". Kim loves explaining things to me using this sentence. It sounded strange at first and made me laugh, but I had to admit that it had a certain zen to it. Racial discrimination, tour packages and all sorts of foreign ideas were all simplified using this tone.

"I think this restaurant must be Chinese". Before eating at a restaurant in Beijing, Kim made this observation by reading the Chinese on the menu.

"I like a girl who is hot and whose hobby is reading books."

"______________ is good for stamina." So far this list includes exercise, chicken soup, dog soup and, actually, most foods we've had.

"This restaurant is quite famous." We were standing in front of a restaurant serving nothing but acorn jelly, in a town located precisely in the middle of nowhere.

"Unbelievable!"

"Her shirt was quite low and then I feel very embarrassed."

"Waaaayy-uuuhhhhllll..." (Well...)

"[The movie] was full of insulting remarks."

"Sure! There are several Koreans with chest hair."

"The facilities are quite good." Speaking of a nearby love motel.

"I think she is an ethnic Korean." Kim thinks 80% of the people who work at restaurants are ethnic Koreans from China, his tip-off is when their Korean sounds strange.

"I will go to the library and read a book." His favourite way of spending Saturday afternoons.

"This morning, my sister gave birth to a baby girl." Slipped nonchalantly into the middle of a conversation.

"I had a gathering." His word for party or 'hanging out'. I can assure you that he doesn't play that nerdy card game.

"No, I want to go to a movie. Alone." Why he left a bar at midnight, in order to catch a 1 am show.

"Ah! Scarface! Al Pacino! I want to be like Al Pacino!"

"Clint Eastwood is quite old, but I do not want him to die."

"It was quite difficult." Speaking of a recent date.

"SHE IS MY LATEEKA!" A text message I received after the same date.

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